The Final Solution to Dating
I run a blog where I discuss the topic of the many games people play in the dating arena. I've posted hundreds of articles, many of which point out many of these troubles. Even if you haven't read the blog, you probably are aware of some of these schemes. While I wish it were easy to sum everything up into one neat, overlying problem, it's not that simple. Let me point out just a few of the issues.
For one, there's a definite lack of respect in dating nowadays. People don't even care about their partners enough to treat them as they deserve to be treated. Gossip, ridiculously high expectations, and rejections by ignorance are only some of the examples in this area. Grandparents are always carrying on about how today's generation has such a lack of respect. They talk about how, in their day, people cared about others and banded together through difficult problems. Why do they talk about these things? Because they're right! Through every activity in which I've been involved, I've encountered this problem. I'm tired of working for a hundred hours on a video project when the president of the organization receives but doesn't bother to even reply to your E-Mails asking him to review it. I'm sick of being ostracized from groups because I don't care to participate in their petty disagreements. And I'm exhausted after people expect me to work to death in volunteer organizations!
There are always exceptions to this rule, and I'm sure that there are many people who do have a great deal of respect for both their peers and their elders. Unfortunately, the majority, or at least the majority with the most influence, simply don't care.
Second, nobody is honest with themselves, let alone anyone else. Dating has turned into a torrent of backstabbing of which even Mark Burnett would be proud. Asking someone out is nearly impossible, because the gossip about it has already spread to a thousand people before you make the move. Then, when a rejection occurs (even if it's not rude), the rejector spreads rumors around to all his/her friends that cause them to completely ignore you, refusing to invite you to parties or even to initiate conversations with you. The biggest insult is that even if you asked point-blank, you'd still never get a truthful answer as to why such harm was directed towards you.
As if what occurs after a rejection isn't enough, people attempt to steal others' girl/boyfriends. One day, things are going well, and the next you find yourself wondering what happened to the relationship that was forming - that is, until you notice that person spending a lot of time with who you thought was your best friend. No explanation is offered, not even a "good-bye."
Third, people are not looking for someone who spends his or her time working to get ahead instead of getting flat-out drunk, who doesn't curse at or ignore his or her mate, and who actually makes time for whatever is occurring between them (whether it be a full-fledged relationship or just plain sex). They say they're looking for these things, but in reality, they're attracted to people with the attributes described above. "Confidence" is not the answer to the equation. Assuming they both possess the same level of "confidence," the above-described person would win every time over the "warm, caring, and intelligent" (wo)man that people claim is the ideal mate.
The list of problems goes on. You might be intrigued to hear that while the problems seem innumerable, I propose they can all be rectified with the simplest of solutions. There's no danger involved, nobody has to lead radical changes, and it doesn't involve an "impossible" fight against biology.
I simply propose for men to stop asking women out.
Not for the rest of your life, but for just a short time, say, a month. It's not impossible, and you won't have to do it as much after the month passes. While there are a few (rare) exceptions, the vast majority of women don't ask out men 50% of the time. Women do have the advantage in dating, and it's time to level the playing field. Sure, talk with women as friends, and if someone initiates a conversation with you, then definitely reciprocate. However, let the woman ask you out if she's interested, no matter how attractive she is to you.
Some women have never asked anyone out in their lives. It's no wonder why these women continually treat men like they're lower beings. If they had to put up with the rejections that most men do all the time, I guarantee that they would have more respect for men. Women would no longer put up with moving from guy to guy based on who was interested in her at the moment. And spreading gossip about potential romantic interests certainly isn't going to help one's prospects.
People need to realize that humans, for all their ancestry, are not monkeys or horses or rabbits. They're humans, who can think and act for themselves.
Men have so much more capacity in the dating arena than constantly looking for sex at all costs, if they would only exercise it. It's time to stop being prisoners to so-called "biology." Women have the same urges men do, and they should do half the work, not 10% or 20%.
There are a lot of "seduction communities" on the Internet that teach men how to "seduce" women. I don't know of any similar organization that teaches women how to impress men with the same fervor.
There's my proposal. I don't think it's hard to implement. Imagine if all the men even at one corporation or university decided to ban together. Laziness won't be a problem, becausenobody even has to do anything. It's time to change our distorted culture. All I'm suggesting is to promote equality. Is that such a bad thing?
Steve Sokolowski is the editor of "Games are for Children" (http://www.shoemakervillage.org/games), a blog that implores people to rise above the pettiness present in today's dating world. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
This RSS feed URL is deprecated, please update. New URLs can be found in the footers at https://news.google.com/news
Aziz Ansari fashions himself a dating guru. But our public and private selves are different. - Washington Post
Are You Up For The Challenge
Back in 2004, I met a gentleman who was interested in getting to know me better. After a few discussions of finding out what I needed to know, I decided to participate.
8 Steps to Scoring Big in a Bar
If you're single, you've probably gone to a singles bar at some point in your life, hoping to make a love connection. But what determines whether tonight will be your lucky night? Chance? Kismet? Maybe.
Dear Soulmate,Where are you?? It seems as if I have been searching for you my entire adult life. I am writing this so you will know that I am not giving up on my search for you.
Three Keys to Wonderful Dating Experience
Forget the flowers and the scent. To improve your chances of both finding a date and then having a really wonderful dating experience, probably here are three key dating tips that start at home.
Creating Your Online Dating Profile
Are you considering the possibility of using an Online Dating Site to find the Date or Love of your dreams? Yes? Well, did you know that the most important part of finding your special someone through online dating is your profile. As explained in my book "the Ultimate Online Dating Handbook" even if you plan on being proactive in your search, you will still need a stellar profile.
Why Online Dating is So Tough For Men
Online dating has become increasingly popular over the past several years. Every year millions of men turn to internet dating in an effort to meet more women without risking face-to-face rejection.
10 Tips for Seniors Dating Online
We would like to take a few minutes of your time to discuss safety while using online dating websites. While online dating is safe, fun and affordable, it also can bring unwanted attention in many ways.
Using the Internet as a Method for Adult Dating
In this day and age, many find it hard to find someone that can share their passion and love with. With so many people experiencing a hard time with relationships and many have gone through failed affairs, a multitude have given up and just moved on.
Dating Tips: The First Impression Matters
Ever had a love at first sight encounter? Totally captured by her beauty the first time you laid your eyes on her? Having sleepless nights thinking about her? That first impression she left with you was sure astonishing wasn't it?The first impression you give plays a very important part in the blooming of a love relationship. It determines the ever possibility of a development of the relationship.
How To Gain Her Trust From The Start
For a woman to have sex with a guy, she must not only be attracted to him, but she must also trust him. Look at it like this:1.
Why is it people, especially the media, thinks that looking for love on the internet is shameful? The discrimination is particularly evident if you are looking for a foreign bride. I met my wife, Eileen, who is Filipina, on the internet.
Men On Dating- Timing, Turn-offs and Keepers
Dear Relationship Coach-"We met online and seemed to hit it off right from the start. After he answered my ad, we went on our first date, and it was fabulous.
Online Dating - Needle in a Haystack?
No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique part of modern love. In fact, in New York, Internet dating has become so popular that it is now simply called 'partner shopping' or 'hyper dating'.
Online Dating - Top Tips for Success!
A few months ago I became single again after a long-term relationship, and decided to try out the phenomenon taking the world by storm that is online dating.Online dating has grown hugely in popularity over the last few years.
Next to your internal mindset (which should be relaxed, confident, and sexual), body language is the most important aspect when it comes to dating women.Why? Because an estimated 67% to 93% of human communication (according to university researchers) is non-verbal, and your body language reveals your internal emotional state.
Great Dating Advice: 7 Universal Laws for Singles
The Law of the Right PersonWhile most of us put our focus on finding the right person, it's just as important to focus your energy on becoming the right person.The Law of Alone, Part 1One of the words used to describe the state of being alone is lonely.
Change Your Body Language to Be Relaxed When Approaching Somebody New
Get a Girl To Seduce You By Changing Your Body Language.Your attitude and confidence are directly connected to your body language.
Dating On-line in Safety
Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So let's first get it into perspective.
What You Must Know About Dating a Non Christian
Inevitably, when the topic of dating comes up among Christian teens, the question that always seems to come up is, "Can I date a non-Christian?"Most of the time, the typical verse that is used to answer their question is 2 Corinthians 6:14-15, which says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?"Knowing that you aren't supposed to date non Christians is one thing, but actually understanding why the Lord doesn't want you to date and marry a non Christian is another matter, so let's look some of the reasons why you aren't supposed to date an unbeliever.
Dating On The Internet Is Growing! See How Online Dating Can Help You Find Available Singles Today
Dating on the Internet is growing rapidly year after year, because it has become very difficult for most people to meet quality singles in their local communities and find compatible matches!When it comes to meeting new people, we tend to create an urgency, and we put a large amount of stress on ourselves to unite with someone quickly, without taking the time to really get to know the person and see their true qualities.Where sometimes you just don't have all the answers on a date, the first thing you need to ask yourself is, what are you looking for?Are you looking to have fun and meet a variety of people on a casual basis, or do you want to seriously establish a relationship, which can eventually turn into a love match? The decision is yours!In the first meeting it's all about honesty, which most of us throw out the window on the first date! I know you heard it before, but it's true! As you begin the matchmaking process through different dating avenues, you will make your life so much simpler if you're totally honest with yourself and the person you're with.